General Letter Snatches
The following pieces are stray thoughts that might amuse you.
We guarantee that each entry has indeed amused someone at sometime. They would
be original thoughts and musings unless credit is designated to someone else.
How many people do you suppose find this page when they are looking for pics
of the female anatomy?
- So I was tellin my son about Morris from the 9 lives commercials
and how he was finicky but liked their food. My boy asks what did Morris
like to eat. Rambling I said I dont know fish chunks and stuff. For some
reason He says "Fish and Fur?" My wife says, "No, that would be your fathers
favorite." ( I Dred Knot )
- I am just basically sad that I can no longer use the word
'twilight' in a poem without feeling like an ultra-douche.
- Always refer to yourself in the third person, UM - but pretend that your
name is Mommy! ( SomaDawg )
- I am not to sure really, but I think I hate it in those moments
whenever I might be indecisive.
- Is it wrong to refer to a yeast infection as Cookie Dough?
- I am not the type of person to spring much in any direction. You
guys go ahead and spring forward and I will try to catch up tomorrow.
- My wife is such a bitch that if she were about to be
eaten by a bear she would try to tell it where it could start.
- How flat does a cat have to be afore you no longer feel bad about having run over it's
- I would like to see things from your point of view, but
unfortunately, I can't get my head that far up my ass. ( Someone )
- I bet you feel foolish. "Yeah I do." In that case
call me foolish!
- If you ever want to have hours of fun, try feeding your dog or cat, a
bunch of mexican jumping beans. Just be extra careful to watch your step. ( Darn it, It
rolled under the sofa!)
- If there was a god I am sure he could have done a better job at giving me
- That's funnier than a two dicked monkey with a third nipple!
- May all your gods forgive you! Let it be, and let it be again. Two Big
- Take your pants off - stay a while. Ya just might learn something!
- Would you like to be my little Cowboy?
- This world of late, has become a great cow at whose teet I have failed to
- I believe I have just crossed that line, of what should have remained a
- Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you help me find a knickle that
rolled down behind the fridge? ( Playboy Magazine )
- Look into my eyes you are being Hip-mo-tized! Whenever you hear the word
Cheeseburger, you will touch your own butt!
- If you pull a dead mans finger will his spirit fart?
- At this point it's all a matter of semantics, and you know what they say,
some antics is better than no antics.
- I have got to buy me a back scrubber for my shower that toilet brush I've
been using really scratches my back up somethin' fierce.
- He suffers from periodic bouts of Adictomy, without warning or
provocation he will suddenly be a dick to me.
- The Santa Monica was Mrs. Claus's favorite instrument.
- Someone that dumb has no business smokin' marijuana. Their brain cells
are kickin' back with the munchies and one of them says, "Dude, remember when there
were more of us?" and the other one says, "Um, dude, do we got any more
- The Pringles company suggest that one serving of their product equals out
to about 14 chips. Hell, I eat more than that before the vacuum escapes the can.
- You know, I never thot he'd grow up to be the kind of old bastard who,
when I was a kid, I would have took a crap in his milk box, but he did.
- The dandruff problem I was having in my ears has recently migrated to my
eyebrows. Every time I get surprised - Well, it's just like Christmas.
- Bill the homeless dead head diabetic with the semi-reoccurring rotten
toe. "When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I get the overwhelming sensation of
dizziness from my blood sugar soaring as I slip into a diabetic coma.
- I swam in the Gulf Of Mexico. It was big fun. Ocean waters are much
saltier than I recall. I attribute this to the millions of people who have alleviated the
pains of a full bladder in it, since the last time I enjoyed the taste.
- Here is a piece from Randall. I'm not sure if this encroaches on that
line of bad taste. "I just got off the phone with my boyfriend. He's 10 but what a
mature 10. The best thing is, he doesn't need me to shave his butt and he doesn't mind
- I knew a guy whose last name was Gentry, oddly enough his first name was
Hugh. He said he'd always wanted to change his last name to Jorgan.
- I'm twice the man as half the men who are half the man I am! henh henh, I
- Ever since I was a small child I've wanted a three legged dog. Imagine my
surprise when one showed upon my porch. Actually he had 4 when he got there but I quickly
remedied that with a butter knife.
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