General Letter Philosophy
This compilation of, um.... cerebral droppings, if you will,
have been put here to hopefully brighten and enlighten your each and every day.
- You only stick your hand in a meat grinder once! (Joal [The Troll]
- I really hate to say a thing that someone else has said before.
I heard that somewhere. ( JestaFreak )
- It's all good, , , Except when it's bad! ( Chip Gatzert )
- When the going gets weird, the weird turn Pro! ( Wavy Gravy, via Hunter
S. Thompson )
- Why can't we all just get a bong?
- A mans gotta butter his biscuits, one way, or ta other!
- What if there were no hypothetical situations? ( Chip Gatzert )
- Life is 1/2 of one and 6 dozen of the other.
- Only users lose drugs!
- Trust in God, but always take precautionary measures!
- The only time I get a fair shake is at the urinal.
- Why does some fecal masses float vertical and others float horizontal? (
- Only dead fish go with the current!
- Humphrey Osmond said that each of us, owes God a death. If that's true I
am paying my debt with yours!
- If you cannot laugh at yourself, rest assured that me and my friends will
do it for you.
- This world is my oyster, and I'm going to suck the pearl! Woohoo!
- I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
- A bhudda walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Can you make me one
- Life is like a shit sammich, the more bread you have the less actual shit
you have to eat.
- Everybody's handed a lump of shit when they are born, and they have to
sculpt it into some semblance of a life. I know to many morons who still have that same
lump of shit.
- In relationships there should be a prenuptial agreement on friends, that
states in the event of a break-up we each retain sole rights to the friends we brought
into the bonding.
- Always remember, you may not know everything that might not be true!
(This Gem is a Quote from HOWLERS niece Faran.)
- I am prejudiced against dumb people, but I don't wish they didn't exist.
I myself just have very little use for them - outside of one of em making me a Big Mac or
- Being an optimist is all fine and dandy, but there exists a point where
an optimist becomes just another fool.
- Falling in love, a phrase that seems so accidental. Whoops! Look what
done happened here! It's like steppin in Dog crap.
- The worst thing about cows is ya gotta stop what your doin' and walk
around in front of them when ya want a kiss. (HOWLER and CDTrips's boss)
- I absolutely will not date women who use four letter words like STOP,
QUIT, or DON"T. (Chick McGEE, local DJ)
- If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, then
how long will it take a cross eyed monkey, with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a
- It's better to give than achieve. (Homeless Berkelyite)
- Buttholes - Ain't for lovin (Randall)
- We're all revolting in our own way. (Chip Gatzert)
- I always figure if I'm not in bed by midnight then I might as well go
- Before I return a library book I like to yank out some of my pubic hairs
and sprinkle them amongst the pages. In doing this I feel much more manly.
- Anything you say, can and most likely will be held against you. Mention
my penis, please.
- One should never choke their chicken afore it hatches.
- If a ram is a goat, and an ass is a donkey, then why is a ram in the ass,
- Never look a gift horse up the ass.
- Don't take any wooden pickles.
- If it smells like ass, it must be ass!
- Whoever said the world is what we make it, needs a good and sound ass
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